We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
