I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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