Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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