I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
