i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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