Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
