Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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