She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
