it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
