i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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