Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
