Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
A bitchslap is in order.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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