I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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