you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
