is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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