I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
