but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
