You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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