I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
