shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
