I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
