If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
