Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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