btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
