I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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