IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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