where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
