Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
