So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
