I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
