Midget sex pt 2 tonight
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
