so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
