either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Me. At least after what I've been through.
where am i from again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
