she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
