I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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