ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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