im drinking this country out of the recession.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
