The maid of honor just puked.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
