I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
