you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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