When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
