I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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