So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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