He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Fuck appropriateness.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
