if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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