My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
