I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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