3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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