end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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