How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
