like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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