It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
