This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
